This is really coming out of nowhere... or at least that's how it would seem. It's always been something I've been curious about. After spending most of my waking hours of Sunday working and getting fucked in the ass by fulltilt on the brief moments of playing poker, this is the best I can do...
You know how women ask for equal opportunities and equal everything, blah blah blah? Which is totally deserved, don't get me wrong. I am not here to put down women but I do have a question, especially to any female readers I may have. Ah shit... I may not have any. I'm gonna link all the ones I know so that maybe I'll get some responses. So, CK, LJ, Kat, Jo, Evy, Bacon, Fuel, react to me. Ha ha ha ha ha, I crack myself up.
Why is it that some women still expect you to open the car door for them? Well, let me back up, do you all want that/expect that? And if so why? Yeah yeah, I know, some of you like chivalry. But why is that? Why demand equal everything, ask to be treated as equals, and yet expect the guy to pay the tab or have them open doors for you? Do you like that as a nice gesture? Or do you expect that out of a man?
Why am I asking?
No particular reason. I was never brought up to treat a girl differently. Hell, I went to an all guys school for 12 years before college so in that sense, I never had to act "decent" in class. You know, like farting out loud was not only accepted... it was fuckin hilarious. Hell, I still laugh when I fart while taking a leak. I don't know how people at work stand in the urinal, fart while they pee, and not even crack a smile while I'm doing everything I can to suppress my laughter. Yeah, so I'm 12. Leave me alone. Apparently, so are all my friends. I digress.
Anyways, being that I was never accustomed to treating a girl differently, I noticed that in this country, of all places where women are kicking ass in every profession, the whole chivalry is more prevalent than in Japan where women are generally 2nd class citizens. How so? I mean that is still the country where if there's a girl and a guy in the room, the girl is expected to bring coffee/tea for everyone. If that's not being treated like 2nd class, I don't know what is.
So why is that? How can you demand equality in everything else but demand be treated special on a date? Maybe next time I go on a date (which at this rate may be never), I'll wait by my car door and see if she'll ever get the hint to open MY door. One time, I was playing basketball... it was a 5 on 5 and there was a girl on the other team. She wasn't all that good. And when she tried to shoot, I went and blocked her shot. Some guys thought that was uncool and let it be known. I immediately retorted with "if I can't block her shot, she shouldn't even be on the court." I mean if she were a he, and he sucks just as bad, nobody would say anything if I blocked HIS shot. Just because she's a girl, I should let her shoot? What kind of a fucked up logic is that? At least I respected her enough to treat her like all the guys. If you're on the court, you should expect equal treatment and you will get it. So again, why expect any different off the court?
Just curious.
Anybody wanna shed the light for me cuz I just don't see it?
Hmmmmm, I wonder if there's a correlation between not opening car doors and getting laid... if so, I'm screwed... well, actually, not...
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18 comments:
Hi Allen:
You sexist pig!
haha j/k
I agree that there is a bit of hypocrisy when it comes to male/female dealings.
Personally, I don't *expect* a man to hold a door open for me, but i appreciate it when they do. If they don't hold it open, I admit I often think to myself what a rude prick the guy is.
But I think a lot of the hypocrisy could be dealt with if men had the balls to speak up more on the subject, as you are doing now. Or like you did on the basketball court. You were absolutey right -- if you are not allowed to block her shot, the bitch shouldn't be on the court. But if you never let her on the court to begin with, YOU are the bitch. Make sense?
Similarly, it disgusts me the way the democrats are handling Sarah Palin with kid gloves. They are afraid to point out exactly how unqualified she is, just because they are worried it will be shown as them attacking a female. God forbid! If she's willing to be on the Republican ticket, she automatically agrees to be slammed just like the male candidates.
On the other hand, there are other forms of male/female hypocrisy that disgusts me. Differences in pay for the same job. The fact that women are sluts yet men are studs. Women can't be overweight and considered attractive, yet men can be. Etc. etc.
So, in sum, I agree with what you are saying. Just know it cuts both ways sometimes.
Okay, its 3 AM and I've rambled enough for now. Going back to bed.
You're playing basketball with girls? Man you must suck.
I don't think I've ever gone out with a girl that has those kinds of expectations. I still go out of my way to do those kinds of things (holding doors open, etc.), but it's not because I feel like I have to.
"Maybe next time I go on a date, I'll wait by my car door and see if she'll ever get the hint to open MY door."
ROFLMAO, you're killing me!!
Your post has become the "water cooler" topic of the day at our office.
We all agreed to focus on the basketball situation. I have talked to a total of 8 girls from my office all different ages ranging from 20 something to 50 something. Everyone of them said that you were totally in the right to block the shot. If she has a problem with that then she needs to suck it up or go play with the girls. If she didn’t have a problem with it, then those guys need to shut it.
Everyone in the game is a player. Treat them all the same. It’s not like you backed her down in the low post and elbowed her to get your shot off, you blocked her shot. You played defense. I’d question balls if you didn’t block the shot.
Opening the car door is a nice gesture and it makes them feel special. That's the key to getting laid.
I hear you totally, but that's still the deal.
I got a lot of shit for blocking this woman's half-court buzzer-beater shot, and since then I have taken it easy on blocking women's shots. The women themselves rarely have a problem with me blocking their shot, it is usually the guys who gave me a weird look.
What it comes down to for me is fun. If blocking someone's shot consistently ruins the game for them (and others), it doesn't matter if it is a male or female, I will ease up a bit. It usually happens to be a female, but I've played with male friends who are terrible at basketball and if I tried 110% in those games, it would just ruin the game. Winning isn't everything.
if you wanna get in a woman's drawers you must open her door. it's the game we must play unless you enjoy going hm to the knuckle shuffle.
If she lets you pat her ass after every score (even a little finger action on the pat) she makes then do not block her shot, otherwise you must slam it into her hideous face and make her pay.
I think women, like other groups, do not want equality, they want superiority and to have everything their way and all rules go towards them. It is in our nature to want things better for us than others. Nothing woman specific.
There is an open the car door corollary that has sadly gone by the wayside in our day of automatic car door locks. Back in my day, if a guy *did* open the car door for you, it usually meant that he walked to your side of the car first and unlocked it. So if you were an *equal rights* kind of person, you slid over to his side of the car, popped the lock open and pushed the door open a little way so he could easily get into the car. In essence, doing just the same for him. A girl who didn't do the *slide / unlock / pop* move was seen as rude if the guy took the initiative to open her door first.
But those days are over. I don't expect a guy to open the car door for me. If he does, I look at that as a sweet gesture.
As for the blocking the shot thing, I'm all for it. If women want to be treated as equals, then they have to take the good with the bad. I've always hated it when guys *ease up on the girl* in the sports world. During my first lawyers league football game, I threw a block on a guy, causing him to fall down. He apologized profusely until I said, "Uh, it was a block. I meant to do that." Message sent. I'm out there to play, so I'll do what any normal player would do. You were doing the same. And besides, you can't fight instinct. As a basketball player, one of your defensive goals is to prevent a shot from going near the basket. if you have to start self-editing your defensive instincts, it just takes away from your enjoyment of the game.
Two completely different subjects IMHO.
The door holding thing? I do it 'cause I can see how it makes some woman feel special about themselves. I also do it 'cause I can see how it makes some of them look at me. (read getting laid 101)
The B'Ball.... c'mon! It never mattered who was playing or what the game was, have a little killer instinct or drop down to a level you are more comfortable with.
You could then throw both together and tell me that you are having a social game of Basketball. A few couples, (or friends) getting together to shoot some hoops. Then I say, blocking the shot doesn't really make a lot of sense, but neither does opening the locker room door for the Ladies. We all know they won't let you in!
;)
Since when is Alan into girls?!?!?
1) Not opening the door just demonstrates another hole in your game.
2) Need more detail on the Basketball situation:
Was the girl picked ahead of you?
If you expect rational thought processes from the female sex, there is your first error. In the end, it just breaks down to this: women want everything, same as men. That means "equality" with "special treatment." It doesn't make sense to the logical person, but that's not what it's about. It ain't about logic, it's about wants, and most people want their cake and to eat it too.
Car door: Leftover courtesy when women dressed up on dates and didn't want their shoes and dresses dirtied by bushing up against the car door. Today it’s a nice gesture and the little kindnesses we give to each other enrich our lives. If she isn't giving you little kindnesses in return dump her.
Basketball: Feel free to block, steal, bump and anything else it takes to win.
This is how you broke your pinky, right? lol
The point that I knew my last relationship was over was when I didn't open the car door for her and she stood there with me sitting in the car. Yes I had done it before but not every time. I have now fixed that problem by installing automatic door opener in my new car. I just hit a button on the FOB and 'Presto' it's open. I'd look into it if I were you.
Ok, I am answering before I read any of the other comments so that my answer is not biased in any way.
The only time I would really like a guy to open the door for me or drop me off at the front door, etc, is if I am wearing heels or something similar and it is muddy / snowy / insert dilemma of choice here. In turn though, I have done the same for guys if they are wearing expensive shoes / have no jacket, whatever the case may be, and I happen to be dressed for the weather.
Otherwise, it feels weird to me. If he happens to be on that side of the car, fine. But to make a special trip to walk around and open the door for me? Yeah no thanks. To be honest, I would feel like a dork sitting there waiting. 1952 called and they want their traditions back.
That said, I cant imagine a situation where I wouldn't hold a mall/office/store door open for someone, and would expect the same in return. That is just an unspoken rule, regardless of whether you are male or female, young or old.
I'm too competitive to expect special treatment, and I'm not naive enough to believe that all things are equal. General common courtesy and a hand up in special circumstances is really all thats needed.
lol, it's called a double standard, get used to it. :)
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