Friday, May 23, 2008

Heading Home (nonpoker content)

Have you ever been to Richmond, VA? Not much of a place. It's not too bad. It's like a typical midsize city in America I think. It's got decent shops, restaurants, nice suburbs, etc etc. But unlike the major cities, it's boring. Of course, if you're from a smaller town, this place is probably perfect as a place like NY or LA might be too big. But growing up in Tokyo, I have to admit... it's boring here.

However, one thing I do love about Richmond is its newly (relatively speaking) renovated airport. The best part? FREE Wi-Fi. Yep, that's right. Now I know most airports have wireless access but it's not the same if you have to pay for it. Hence, this is one airport where I don't mind coming early so that I could just chill out and play poker till the last minute... or blog, like I am currently doing.

But, I didn't fire up my computer to just give you a status update of my travels. Wait, I guess I never said where I was going. I am going home (to Tokyo, Japan) for 2 weeks. Should be a good time. Well, anyways, so this morning, I get up, get ready and when the transportation service comes to pick me up to take me to the airport, the neighbor across the street yells out at me as he's walking his kid to school.

"Hey Alan!"

"Hey Todd."

"Hey man, you gotta do something about your yard. I mean I'll help you but... quite frankly, your yard looks like crap!"

Now, let me give you a brief description of our yard. Is it crappy? I don't think so. Is it meticulous like my neighbor's who is a stay at home dad? No. So, there are some shrubs that need to be trimmed, some weeds that need to be attended to, etc. It's by no means perfect which is why I had the landscaping contractor come by to give me an estimate and scheduled for him to service our lawn in 3 weeks... which was his first available. This, after we already tried 3 different contractors who were booked up.

Another problem was that our shutters by the window came loose and one actually fell. But they were on the second floor and I don't have a tall enough ladder. And it just happened so I called someone else to take care of that situation as well. Should be fixed by next week.

So anyways, our pleasant neighbor continues his morning rant.

"And your shutters are loose, one's missing, and it just looks awful man. It's not helping us sell our house."

Now keep in mind, this classy neighbor is yelling this out from across the street instead of having the dignity (read: balls) to come up to me and talk to me like an adult. And his kid is right there!!!

So I counter with this:

"Well, good thing you are moving. You don't ever have to look at our yard!"

Neighbor: "Yeah, it must be nice to be you. You get to see our nice yard while I have to look at your crappy yard!" (yard fight!!!!!)

Me: "Well, I'm just glad I would no longer have to look at your ugly mug. And don't worry, we have a contractor coming to take care of it. He'll be here in a few weeks."

Neighbor: "Few weeks!? Why don't you do something about it!?"

Me: "I'm going out of town."

Neighbor: "Must be nice!" (heavy sarcasm)

Me: "The best part is, I don't have to see you for the next few weeks. Have a good day!"

And I hop into my ride. I'm fairly certain if his kid wasn't next to him, a few f-bombs woulda been dropped. But no need to go there just because his dad has no class.

One thing I wish I said was when he said something about taking care of my lawn, I wanted to drop a stache reference since he's sporting one... just didn't come to me quick enough. My buddy pouringreign woulda had a field day with that one.

Alright, we're boarding. Have a good long holiday weekend all!!!


cmitch said...

Have a blast in Las Vegas....err.... I mean Japan.

I think that I might put an old toilet or couch or something similar out on the front lawn after that guy's comments.

lucko said...

Wow, that guy tilted me and its not even my yard.

Have fun!!

So um, does this mean no BBT next week?

Anonymous said...

You hitting up any casinos in Tokyo, are there any?

Your neighbor - What a lame-ass.

Weak Player said...

You should have whipped it out and pissed on his neatly trimed shrubs. Anyhow, McCarran now has free Wifi also. W00t.

Bayne_S said...

Back east I had neighbor give me grief about how I took care of back yard saying I let grass get too high and did not clean up dog shit often enough.

Right when she finished her rant her dog took a crap in my yard.

My response was "I am sorry Marianne, I have been lax about looking for dogshit in areas Franki's leash doesn't allow her to reach"

Her face turned a lovely crimson and she was blissfully silent.

RaisingCayne said...

Oooh... that's some bullshit. I would've lit into the schmuck, I envy your restraint for the shmuck's kid's sake. And yeah, I would do everything in my power to lower the dude's property value. Borrow a car from a junkyard and park it right in the middle of the yard with expletive graffiti, the whole nine yards.

Enjoy Tokyo.

lightning36 said...

My old nest door neighbor was a lawn fanatic. I was lucky just to get my weedy lawn cut.

These fuckers live in a fantasy world. I mean, really -- who gives a shit what a lawn looks like?

I was tempted to get some chemicals that destroy grass, then late at night ...

Oops -- sorry. I'm not looking to give you any ideas or anything and vicariously share in the revenge ...

crushmastac a.k.a. CheckinMyAA said...

Toilet on the front lawn is a solid plan imo. Broken down car might be a bit over the top.

Mike Maloney said...

haha, you fawking suburbanites with your grass.

junkbutton said...

Tell him when he starts paying your taxes he can tell you how to upkeep your property...

pokertart said...

"Well, good thing you are moving. You don't ever have to look at our yard!"

LOL - love it.

Evy said...

What a should have told him you'd give his kid $5 to mow your lawn.

Have a great time in Japan!

4dbirds said...

Usually a friendly hello and a respectful request is all one needs when asking a neighbor a request. Rudeness is uncalled for. When my daughter was diagnosed with leukemia and we were spending days at a time at the hospital our grass got way too high. Our neighbor who didn't know what was going on with us came over one night when we had just got back from the hospital. He politely told us our grass was unacceptable and we had to do something about it. He wasn't rude but was just letting us know we needed to do something about it. We apologized and told him we didn't have much time with work, then the hospital and then trying to get everything done for our other three kids at home. He felt awful, told us not to worry about it at all and mowed our lawn for us for the rest of the summer.

Joanada said...

To answer your question - no, that post was from 2006. I was at '05 and '06 gatherings, but not '07.

I've been around since the beginning in 2004 though. I took more than a year off from blogging and poker so a lot of people think I am new as I have just been getting back into it since February.

Sia said...

"Yard fight!" That is fucking hilarious.

What's funnier is that the 4603 yard has been in completely unkempt shape for about 6 years. No one has said a word.

Maybe they're afraid of Ramel and his Guiness Book Biceps (that sounded gay, didn't it).