Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Another year older, none the wiser

Note: if you are too lazy to read through the whole thing, at least read the last paragraph. Little contest at the end.

First of all, thanks to all those on Facebook/emails/posts/etc who wished me Happy Birthday. I do have a birthday rant that I can go into but I can do that at another time so I will just share what can only be described as an "interesting" event.

My whole day went like the normal/typical day here. Played basketball in the morning, worked all day, yadda yadda. Well, during the course of the day, one of my friends who was determined to take me out for my birthday suggested that we go watch the new movie: Fast and Furious. She knew I was a big fan of the previous 3 (Fast and Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, FF: Tokyo Drift) and since I did make a comment that I wanted to go see the latest, it made sense. Plus, it's a Tuesday night so we figured there wouldn't be too many people at the movie theatre. Other people are generally the reason I don't go to movie theatres often so it made sense...

So, all was decided over email and so even though I had enough work to keep me here late, I ended my work day around 6:30pm to get home in time to change/eat before the movie at 8pm.

As I am driving home, I am entering my neighborhood and as I am approaching my driveway, I notice that there's a car parked. I can't think of whose car it is but it looks vaguely familiar. And then right when I get a little closer, I realize who it is... and when I realized it, that "oh shit" feeling entered my mind... you know that feeling when you are busted for doing something wrong? Well, that kinda feeling... except I didn't do anything wrong... but it still felt that way... why?

Let's rewind the timeline....

Few weeks ago, I met this girl at the evil empire of coffee shops. We talked, kinda hit it off, she gave me her number, blah blah blah. We hung out a few times, she seemed pretty nice, pretty cute, and definitely on to me. On my end however, not so much. I mean she's cute - italian, petite, pretty features, etc... but that's about it. Nothing that really wowed me I guess. But anyways, so we hung out a few times and then this past weekend, she just kinda got on my nerve. We're definitely not dating or anything and yet this weekend, she apparently really wanted to see me. So she texted me a few times, emailed me, etc. I kinda blew her off and then I responded to her on like a Saturday, telling her I had to work all weekend. (I did have to work - the "all weekend" part was a lie). Sunday was another beautiful day here so I went to the gym, worked out, did my chores, did some work, etc etc. Then, Sunday night, I get this email from her... ah hell, fuck privacy. I'll just copy and paste it here.

"I hope your day went well today, and that you were able to spend some time outdoors this weekend despite how busy you have been.

I don't know what to say, except that I am really confused. I've wanted to get to know you better...Mr. Cranky Pants and all! :), but it doesn't seem you desire the same. If that's the case, it's fine...err...ummmm...I mean, I'll understand. And it's not bc you have been so busy, rather I admire your passions and work ethic. It's bc... I feel kinda trivial to you, especially today.

I so much hope this is just a misunderstanding"

Ok, let's analyze this for a second (I'm pretty sure I just lost whatever female readership I had). First of all, she's feeling trivial to me???? Um, hello? We're not even dating. We just saw each other like 3-4 times. If this ain't a sign for being needy, I don't know what is. And I did needy girl long time ago and fuckin hated it. So I sure as hell ain't going back to that. Second, for all you ladies out there who think "oh, he's just really busy but he'll call back later." Um yeah. Let me tell you something. He's just not that into you. Period.

- Back to where I left off earlier....

So, I realize that the car parked in my driveway is none other than this girl... Now, after my previous paragraph, I do feel a little guilty because she was dropping off her home made chocolate chip cookies (cuz she knows I like chocolate chip) at my house... I so wish I was few minutes late in going home... Anyways, I come up with a lame excuse like "hey, sorry, I'd say we can hang out but the only reason I'm home so early (cuz I indicated to her that I'm working like 15 hr days) is because my friends are taking me out to dinner for my birthday (not a total lie - my friend and I had plans to eat pizza before the movie) and that I'm meeting them at 7pm. She understood, told me she assumed as much, and that she was kinda embarassed because she just wanted to drop off the cookies and leave them by the door. So I thanked her and walked into the house.

That was it in terms of the "interesting" event that I prefaced. My friend and I went to see Fast and Furious as planned and it was freakin awesome!!!! I love that entire series and if you liked the other F&F series, you'll definitely like this one too. And btw, movie on a Tuesday night is the way to go. No one at the movie theatre despite it being spring break week for the kids and there are coupons for like a $1 popcorn... can't beat that.

I will leave you with one thing... I did kinda like this girl and like I said, I did think she was cute... until one day, when we were messing around, there was one thing that I saw/noticed that completely turned me off. I am pretty certain that you won't guess what it was and no, you haters, it's not because she's not a he. But I'll leave you with this. What is it that I saw/noticed that completely turned me off about her?

I'll ship $5 on Fulltilt to the first person who guesses correctly. (if you don't have a fulltilt acct, well, guess anyways, it'd be fun)

PS: I brought the cookie into work... I had some already and they are pretty freakin awesome.


Mike Maloney said...

Unusually dark arm hair.

Astin said...

Sounds like issues in there.

Okay... let's guess.

3rd nipple?
Adam's apple? (even though not a guy)
Armpit hair?
Excessive body hair elsewhere? (nostrils, arms, legs... get your mind out of the gutter)
Ear wax?
Lazy eye?
Unfortunate tattoo/piercing?
Stretch marks?
Really ugly mole?
Crooked spine?
Scoliosis scar?
Ass acne?
Caulflower ear?

Alan aka RecessRampage said...

I shoulda added the rule - one guess per person.

Amazingly, Astin, none of yours.

SirFWALGMan said...

You seem vain so I will go with c-section scar. BWAHAHA! Actually I really was gonna say a wart/beauty mark type deformity on her body? lol. Hairy ass was my second choice buy Astin said hair and you said no.

HighOnPoker said...

It's definitely some sort of body hair. I would go with a full bush, but since its unclear if you actually got to her bush, I'm going to go for the old happy trail. That's right! The bitch had dark hair from her naval down. It's not too uncommon with the Italians, what with their dark hair and all.

As for what to do with the chick, man up and tell her you aren't into her. Sure, she's a needy pain in the ass, but until you tell her litigimately that you are not interested, its not her fault for being infatuated with your handsome self.

1Queens Up1 said...

Had to be a wart. Italian girls have warts. Big fat hairy ones.

BTW you dated her 4 times and she knew you were a grumpy pants. Id say you giuys were like practically married ;)

Happy Bday dude.

cmitch said...

a f-ed up pinky?

jjok said...

hammertoe.....or effed up teeth.

Bayne_S said...

belly button was an outie

spritpot said...

she was actually a dude?


spritpot said...

this comments section is gold...I can't believe nobody has noticed this yet...Pinky, do you know what a double negative is?

"it's NOT because she's NOT a he"...NOT a he means a she. This implies that the thing you saw/noticed that turned you off is not that she's a woman...which means either a) you didn't see that she's a woman or b)you did see that she's a woman, and it didn't turn you off (although by saying it this way you imply that we would think that this would be one of the things that would turn you off).

As for the actual thing, i'll go with hairy nipples.


oossuuu754 said...

Hillary Clinton Cankels

Schaubs said...

I was going to say big bush... but then thought you probably didn't make it that far...?

Need more details.

Oh and pics, pics are good.

VinNay said...

Her vageen hang like wizards sleeve?

APOSEC72 said...

big ass moley mole?

lj said...

lint in belly button.

Tilt said...


Chitown8467 said...

she had a bigger penis than you?

Anonymous said...

I'm going to guess she picked her nose.


Fuel55 said...


Anonymous said...

granny panties?

smokkee said...

hairy legs FTW.

PokahDave said...

She had a padded bra!!!!

Sia said...

she kept saying, "I can't believe i'm hooking up with the guy from Heroes."

I can see how that would be annoying.


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